Tonight I am having a pity party and I need to get over it. Some days life just seems overwhelming, you know? It seems no matter how many dishes I wash, there are always more, no matter how many toys I pick up, there are more, no matter how much laundry I do, the baskets are never empty and the list could go on and on. I guess there are just times that I feel like I am not being the best I could be but at the same time I feel like I have no more to give. I worry I am not teaching my boys the things they need to know because no matter how many times I explain manners to my 4 year old I always have to say it again. I worry they will be the kids no one likes because they are crazy all the time. I know deep down that they will be okay it just seems like some things never sink in. It makes me think some of it is sinking when I here D say things to other people like please and thank you but there is always another child who acts better than yours. How do those parents do it? I want people to want to be around my kids not run the other way when they see them coming and I am afraid I am not teaching them to be those kids. Like I said, I need to get over it.
Then there are times when the older one isn't sitting on the little one and the little one isn't spitting at the older one when it seems like life will all be okay. I just need to focus on those times.
2 comments:
Sweetheart, believe me you are having feelings that caring Mothers have at sometime in thei lives. Readng your comments took me back to a time when I seriously felt that someone else could do a better job raising our kids than I was doing, but that is never true. I know the changes that have to be made in your household during ginning season is very difficult, AND the fact that you've been sick (the boys too)gets very old. Our kids get used to there Mother's voices and sorta' tune us out. Then when Dad comes home and sys one word, they respond immediately. I wouldn't be surprised if boys aren't harder to raise too than girls. Another thing is both you and I(had) have the awesome privilege of being stay at home Moms. That really makes a difference in their lives, BUT I used to wonder if I still had a brain that worked because sometimes I didn't see an adult except when I went to church, and I longed for smething to challenge my brain. I don't know if you miss teaching, but you probably miss the association with the other teachrs. Love you bunches, Grandma
I loved your Grandma's comment above - all SO true! I think that ALL of us mommies have felt this way more than we care to admit. I truly believe that this is one prime way that the devil gets to us - comparing ourselves to others not only as moms, but in SO many ways! This is a hard season when they are so little. It's constantly repeating yourself - instructions on what to do, how to act, etc., but just think about one day at a time. Another thing that has haloed me is when I get up EARLY in the morning, before the boys, and pray and read my Bible. It never fails that when I start my day with God, things just go more smoothly. You are a fun, great mom - and you have a precious family! God gave you THESE boys for a reason - because He knew YOU were the mom for them. Remember that. :)
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